Gibberish Non Stop !

The dense is back again and it is there to bother me for sometime. It was a liberating feeling to wake up every morning without that constant heaviness of mind. I had almost resigned to this feeling of being lost in the woods and never thought I would be able to get out of it but for the last few weeks when everything seemed to be getting back on track.

The self inflicted stress on everything that relates to me had an over powering influence and would drive everything for me - my apetite, my conversations and my silence. People who know me better like to keep themselves at bay when my eyes are sullen and heavy. And this morning my eyes are sullen and heavy!

Contemplating on the way life is driving me insane and how I could muster the courage to change the pace and direction of life but unable to act upon it. It feels like I am displacing myself from nothing and am whining within for nobody. I am just in the state of constant grief for no reason in particular. Am I lonely? Well, who isn't?

I just completed reading About a Boy and it surely is at the top of my favourites. And look at Will, he was alone for most of his life literally doing nothing and he was happy. So, why do I get so sentimental because I am clueless about what I want. Work is going alright, have enough friends who seem to enjoy my company, family is far away but of course the most supportive one can imagine but this dense just doesn't get a hang of it. It is just not willing to leave my mind and has a knack to conquer me completely.

Do you get what I am trying to address here? For most of you it would be a silly little piece on loneliness being personfied and this exhibits my lack of creative writing. All I am trying to suggest here is that something is not quite right but there is no reason for me to believe so since all the hygeine factors are in place and intact.

Like my friend said once, 'While we believe we are living our life, the truth is life is living us.' So, I just hope I help life make the most of it with all my brooding and somewhere every idiosyncracy with find a balance in some sane thoughts and experiences however varied will even out.