Today is another bad day. Feel restless and in need of reassurances. Strangely I have not been able to get over much in the last two years. Life seems to be at a standstill and nothing seems to change. Hope is all I had and hope is what I am losing by the day.
It is strange how in the last few weeks so much has just changed and so many things have just left me exhausted and extremely lost. I seek direction and I do not know where I can find that direction.
My friend and I have a strained relation and it just all happened before I could even realize the intensity of it. It must be brewing for long but then it just snapped out of nowhere. It would be a lie if I suggest it does not bother me since it always bothers me when someone dear to me just moves away. Anyway, more of that later.
The other day I had a long chat with Akshay and I must admit I knew I was just talking without really comprehending much. Was trying to justify everything without realising that none of what I said was even coherent. My mind continued to wander but I must admit that I felt good at the end of the long conversation. It was like he was holding the mirror to me and after having denied all the scars I began to notice each one of them.
There is so much to be happy about. There is so much to cherish but I continue to linger on what I have lost and what I believe I may have lost. I wonder sometimes when life would get better. When the dense will leave me alone….
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1 comment:
Truly believe that we live in the making of our own misery.
We can make life seem as good or as bad as we want it to be.
Don't let these years pass u by like this....you will have wasted your youth on thoughts that won't matter in the bigger scheme of things.
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