The Namesake

I watched the much-awaited movie based on Jhumpa Lahiri’s book last week. I was captivated and could relate to the movie in many ways. I was so overwhelmed by the movie that when my friend asked me how I liked the movie all I could say was that it is good in parts.

A story about an Indian couple who moved to US in the want of a better life and the disconnect with the children who were very American and much against the desire of the couple. It narrates beautifully the generation gap that leads to discontent within both the parent and the child. In my growing up years I have seen my cousins who have been under similar circumstances and they always came across as confused. They neither came across as completely American nor traditionally Indian. The strange bit is that my aunt and uncle who were living in US for over 15 years expected India to be the same as they had left it. As we grew up, we were far more yankee in our attitude than they were of theirs and it certainly surprised my Uncle who had been trying to make his kids more Indian in a foreign land.

I would always laugh at my cousin and would sincerely feel that I was far more independent than them who were constantly trying to pretend to be the Indians with the same social and moral values that his parents thought was right. Actually, it went quite far and he ended up marrying a barely educated girl from India to keep his parents happy. I think he is happy now though there were tumultuous times when he was not willing to bend an inch. My cousin and his father could not stay in the same room for longer than a minute and those were the days when he was seeing the American lass. I was quite young then and it really appealed me to see that he would stand his ground at all times and to his father’s embarrassment say things that would rather remain unsaid.

I really do not know how and why the transition in my cousin led him to do things just the way his parents wanted him to but so long as everyone is happy am sure that is all that matters.

When I compare this movie to my relationship with my parents, it just brings me to think that living within the same geographical boundaries, one can have differing moral and social values. Fortunately, my parents always allowed me to do things the way I would like to. Was only treated like a robot occasionally unlike most of my siblings who were just expected to do things the way the parents thought it was deemed to be.


The relationship between my parents and I is rather beautiful and I can say that after so many years. They have always let me be whether I was doing fabulously well or was down the dumps. While I am sure they have their expectations but they have never thrust it on me and have let me take decisions that they always knew would work against me. My erstwhile girl friend always said that I did not care enough for my parents. The fact is I do care a lot for them but we do not share a relationship where we choke each other with overt calls of affection. Infact things that might upset them I keep to myself. If I am not well or had a bad day, I would not want to subject them to my pressures. To me it is unfair! I have been living away from them for 14 years and have changed drastically in those years with every experience and my parents acknowledge and respect it.

Sometimes the only thing that really bothers me is that living so far away I am never able to give them the time they always want. I wish I could just spend more time with them and sometimes be a little less rude. They are the people I look towards when I need any comforting and it is so calming to just have them near me.