Six Days and still going strong

I remember how I would always tell my erstwhile girlfriend that I smoke because I enjoy it and not because I am addicted to it. Had assured and re assured her that I would quit when I decide to and it would not be difficult to do so. I can see how true and not so true my statement was.

I have quit when I decided but it is an addiction and a difficult one to get past. The worst for me began on Monday when I was so awfully low. Life seemed meaningless and I knew it was not about anything of relavance or importance but just because my body was blackmailing me to light a cigarette. I am glad that I can control my urge to pick up a pack and light just one cigarette when nobody's watching. The reason I can control my urge is because I am feeling much better in terms of my fitness. Somehow my head seems less clogged and though the withdrawal is not letting me sleep very long hours I am waking up fresh and that is a surprise. I dont remember the last time I woke up without my eye bags pulling my eyes in different directions.

The most interesting experience is the reaction of people around me. Let me begin with the jealous ones or so I would want to call them - ya ya, I had quit for 3 months but got back to it (very encouraging), you will gain alot of weight, I gained 7 pounds (were you feeding on elephants?), good show, how many days did you say with that peculiar look suggesting another minute and you will light one ( and well you make me want to quit so much more)

The best reactions are from 3 people :

1. Arun - a long comment on how good this impulsive decision was ( look look not everything impulsive is so silly)
2. Awantika & Rahul - this one is like filling out a report. every now and again a message pops up and if I am even a measly bit lost, they immediately start giving me really interesting alternate options on things to do so I am distracted from the urge
3. APSD -Have really bothered him the most. It seems like my birth right to pile on to him. He is the one who gave me a 5 min speech on the goodness of smoking and since then has been completely supportive of my decision. And each time I want to talk about how much I want to smoke, he is at my rescue.

I think this pretty much encapsulates my experience so far. It may not be great and closer to being horrid but it surely makes me feel great to resist smoking. I dont know whether I will quit for good or track my steps back but I sure do feel great to have made the effort.

All that writing on cigarette addiction, am sure you all realise how big a deal it is for me :-)