The Strength of a Family

At home celebrating our very own Bihari festival, "Chath". The break was much desired and even more needed to regain my sanity. In the chase for all the tangible and intangible aspirations I had lost track of the simple things in life that make living easier and worthwhile. Just could not ignore the thoughts that began to cross my mind as the unwinding from the cosmopolitan life began at home amidst family. This is where I was born and always felt like a misfit believing that I was meant for better things. Aspirations were never about who I wanted to be but about the life I wanted to lead and it certainly wasn't anywhere close to what I desired. The life I have today back in Singapore has some semblance to where I wanted to be.

Now that I am closer to where my aspirations led me, I feel at loss yet again. It gives me all the comfort but the simplicity of life that I never valued begins to grin at me. I miss just saying anything aloud without the worry of getting judged and here at home I can pass off with anything I say or do. Unconditional love is all that I get and I am assimilating all of it to be able to withstand the cosmetic world out there where I will cast a mask efficiently and begin the act no sooner do I land back in Singapore.

I just realised that I had not laughed so much in the last one year, had not uttered as much meaningless words and made people laugh at my own stupidity. It is amazing to have a family that holds you like you never need to worry about anything. It just builds you with so much strength to battle anything outside. It fills me with hope that someday when I have a family of my own (which should be sooner given my friends believe age is not on my side:-)) I will be able to hold it together like my parents and offer acts of selflessness like my brother.

Imagine the child in me that never ceases to demand and my family that never fails to succumb to each of them. To the world I am a grown up man and I still have a chance to go back to being a child as soon as I am back here. It feels great to be here and feels even better to know that my family prides in me for who I have become as a person. It fills me with pride too.

So, all the questioning looks and critical analysis of my being can take a back seat, this is why I always do my own thing and right or wrong, impulsive or well thought, my life is my own doing.