Happiness - How external is that?

The day passed me by and I spent most of it attempting to control the urge to crib about things in general. I never realised how and when I became this extremely distant person (and not distant from others but from myself). Thanks to Radhika since she in her very sweet way has been showing the convoluted parts of me. It takes immense practice to get rid of a bad habit and bit by bit I have managed to work towards changing that about myself. But today was the test after weeks of no sign of feeling miserable, it surfaced again. Work and other extremely stressful situations must be to blame.

By noon I was all set to bury everything good in life and just linger on the sadness around me, the confusions, the losses, the miscommunication and lack of judgement.It was a battle inside to just stay happy regardless of the many reasons to sulk and I managed to pretend to be cheerful through the day.

Work out as usual was energising and helped me stay further in control of my emotions. I kept crying tearfully inside and smiling like the happiest man one could ever find. And guess what, the smile won over the sulk. I am feeling cheerful again and life looks more meaningful again.

So, the mantra is when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, go back to sleep or just fall off the bed but dont let the side of the bed decide your day. If I work hard I can stay happy regardless of all the worries and bitterness around me and I will continue to work as hard as it takes to keep myself happy.